Reminiscences of Floatykatja (Pt 2)

My next meeting with Katja was in 1996, in a production of Thoroughly Modern Millie at the Eddie Royle Out Of Eastenders Memorial Theatre on the Old Kent Road. I was playing James Fox and she was playing Mrs Meers, by day the proprietress of a hotel for young ladies, by, erm, day as well an evil white slaver, drugging the young ladies for sale to the Eastern markets. Katja made this part her own.

A busy girl, she had the hots for Robert de Niro, Paul Newman, Dustin Hoffman, James Dean, Marlon Brando and Al Pacino. As a consequence, she studied the Lee Strasberg Method, immersing herself in her role, becoming the mysterious Mrs Meers.

Not only did this lead to a highly successful and critically acclaimed performance, but also, by February 1997, Katja had sold 44 girls aged between 17 and 25 into slavery in Bangkok, Seoul, Beijing and Kyoto. A further 121 were reported to have been sedated and kidnapped, but escaped when a cargo ship chartered by Katja ran aground off the coast of Madagascar. Furthermore, a staggering 1,007 girls were found in seven laundry trucks parked around the back of the theatre on the day she was finally arrested.

She got off on a technicality.

by jimmypanic

Reminiscences of Floatykatja (Pt 1)

I first met Katja in the Summer of 1994. The Shoreditch Youth Amateur Non-Professional Unskilled Players were putting on a production of Macbeth, and I was there trying to bribe the director to slip me in as Birnam Wood’s fourth tree from the left.

Katja was backstage, waiting for her call. She was playing one of the three witches. She had blackened teeth, wild grey hair, a hunchback and hooked nose. Clearly, she wouldn’t be needing any make-up.

We had time for a quick chat about the vagaries of the actor’s life, the kipping on friends’ floors, the weeks of waiting, that unfortunate business with the guinea pig and the garlic press. Then her call came, and she was off to ply her craft. I shouted after her to ‘break a leg!’.

I visited her in hospital the next day. Her leg was hoisted up to the ceiling and all the blood had run to her head. ‘You match your grapes,’ I said. ‘You blend in like a true thespian. I thought you were that fellow’s piles for a sec.’. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

by jimmypanic