Ever wondered how many five year olds you could take in a fight? Well, muse no more …
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I made my mind up, back in Chelsea: when I go, I’m going like Elsie.
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Um, I answer all the questions and it doesn’t give me an answer but takes me to an on-line dating site… that’s quite scary, what is it trying to tell me?
Happy New Year!
Hmmm. Try this link instead and see if that works any better …
Alas, I could only manage a measly 20…
I too can take 27 kids in a fight. Yeah! Bring it on ya pre-school brats. I’ll send ya crying to mummy ya little snot.
*ahem* Sorry, I was getting into the idea for a moment.
Only 23 for me and I was willing to use one as a weapon against the others.
I could take 37 and I demand a recount! Surely with my arse-kicking, child-hating, physical attributes my score should be in the mid-50s at least!
I could only take 25 of the dratted blighters. It’s not fair though, because if I was allowed to use the cricket bat it would have been thrice that.
Oh dear, I’m such a wimp…
To be fair I have a five year old nephew and he’s pretty tough until you actually inflict some damage on him then it’s all tears and “I want my mummy”. I think the way to beat down the 5 year olds is to inflict a minor but painful injury on each one rather than go for the kill or beating each one to a pulp. Chinese burns, nipple twists and arm locks are all perfectly acceptable.
Also little kids tend to swarm so it’s vital that you stay on the move. As adults we’ve got the advantage of longer legs as well as better reach. There’s nothing shameful about running away and then picking off the ones who stray from the group. Get hold of a weapon with reach such as a polearm or even a tree branch.
I’d also seriously consider using ranged weaponry against the hobbit brigade. A five year old’s arm is poorly suited to throwing as they lack proper leverage and they have that big head in the way that blocks the use of certain projectiles. Staying distant and picking them off with small objects (sticks, stones, discarded toys, etc) will certainly provide better results than wading in with fists flying.
Having said that the typical five year old is still quite easily frightened. If possible you can turn the environment to your advantage. Switch off the lights so that the darkness scared them, make spooky noises, scream loudly after a period of prolonged silence. Breaking your enemy’s spirit is one of the best ways to defeat them.
It’s all about the tactics that you employ.
Blimey. I’m a bit scared of you, Herr General SchwebendFrosch. I’m therefore picking you for my team before anyone else does …
Yeah I’m a terror when the enemy is half my size. You should see me pick on people in wheelchairs or on little old ladies. The queue in the post office clears in seconds when I need to buy air mail stickers.
Be warned though. Picking on little old men “What faughwt in the wawaar!” is a bad idea. They may seem helpless but they often go armed with sticks and they really aren’t afraid of anything. I suppose being that much closer to death has a way of putting things in perspective.
Only 23 here. Three year olds, and it would be many, many more.
I scored a frankly disappointing 33 which I put down to not having had enough practice on Wii and Xbox 360 plus a light lunch. I’m prepared to use pepper spray and shout the truth about Santa – will that help?
Only 17. I was willing to pick up a child and use it as a weapon, though. That should count for more.
Barehanded, I could take on a lot less than 27. Kudos to you.
But give me a Challenger tank / RPG launcher, or some kind of riot-foam cannon….?
Only a fool would take on 5 years olds barehanded, surely.
(Allegedly, I could take on 29. *Not a chance*).
I’m proud of you all, even you, Huwie.
Mr B, your Santa-truth-telling method is a stroke of genius. I bow to your superior sneakiness.
I am, indeed, the master of all evil. Mwuh hah hah haaaar.
hah funny.