True Dare Kiss

True Dare Kiss is the second part of The Red Devils trilogy of plays by Debbie Horsfield, set in Salford in the early 80s. One character, Alice, marries her childhood sweetheart, Kevin, while still very young. In fact, at the age of 19, the marriage has broken down and she is contemplating leaving him. She meets her friend Nita at 3 in the morning to talk about what she’s going to do.

‘Outside that house is the clothes on me back, an’ in me pocket a door-key an’ two cigarettes. Kevin’s got things. He doesn’t need me. He’s got kids, he doesn’t need mine.

But I could live with that. I could live with Carly – meet her in the shops, ask her what he likes for his tea. I could have Joey round every night. I can compromise, Nita. People do compromise. People put up with all sorts of things. If I left – what could I do? What could I be if I wasn’t Kevin’s?’

I used to do this piece at drama school and always found those last two lines unbearably moving. How could one person’s identity be so bound up in someone else that they didn’t know how to exist without them? I didn’t think I’d ever understand it. Now, however, I do. It’s not a person that I’m tied to, though, it’s my career. I feel like I’ve been stagnating for a long time now – but if I leave, what could I do? What could I be if I wasn’t an actor?

It’s late, I’m tired, I’m emotional. I’m not really looking for practical answers, but I needed to write this down. I’m off on tour for two weeks as of tomorrow – no, THIS – morning. Hopefully I’ll be in a better frame of mind by the time I get back.

The End

A short story for you today – just because.

It was sometime in the early hours of the morning that her phone rang. Struggling out of sleep, she looked at the name on the display. When she realised who it was, she answered immediately.

“Babe? I’ve had enough of this shit. I’m going, and I’m taking the money.” She listened to him ranting about how unfairly he had been treated, already detaching herself from him, knowing that soon he would be gone and she couldn’t go with him. “Babe? Are you there?”

“If you go, I don’t want to hear from you again.” She was shocked at how clinical she sounded. Maybe she wasn’t awake yet. Maybe this was all, in fact, a dream. This man, who she was supposed to be in love with, was leaving, disappearing with his employer’s money, and she was washing her hands of him entirely. How could it possibly be this black and white?

“Babe?” He sounded unsure now. Maybe he wouldn’t go after all. Maybe he’d think better of it. There was nothing left to say. She heard a click, then the purring of the dead line. He was gone. She turned her phone off – tomorrow was going to be hell.